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Author Topic: The Trials Of CritterBait!  (Read 8828 times)

Stem Sunders

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #20 on: November 25, 2014, 07:10:39 AM »

Stem tell me if you need anything on Lawyer side for your story :)

EDIT : I showed it to a friend who doesnt know AoP, it is quite hard to understand the link between pages 2 and 3. Maybe add a little page between them showing CritterBait in Family HQ, talking to the Don and maybe buying or trading the jacket ?

I will definitely need at least a second person when for when characters finally meet. If you wanna help that would be awesome, without giving too much away I need someone to play
"A Lawyer Bounty Hunter" I'll credit you on each occasion of course :)
If I get enough time today there will be a part 2.5 (Explaining what happened between 2 and 3) and then part 4 which has a twist ;)
« Last Edit: November 25, 2014, 07:29:33 AM by Stem Sunders »
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Stem Sunders

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #21 on: November 25, 2014, 07:14:13 AM »

Idk, your story could magically turn into 'factionless' faction request ^^.
A story about 4 survivors hating each other in the beginning, but comrades in the end (you can put none, or unlimited content in between)
With the last panel being 'volvo fixpls cirn0 pls add'.

Take your time with it, you've managed to hook me on that so far ^^

Stop filling my head with awesome idea's Myakot!! :D
I dont think I could tell this story anywhere else.
AoP is perfect for it.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2014, 08:07:50 AM by Stem Sunders »
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Anza

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #22 on: November 25, 2014, 07:29:26 AM »

With pleasure ^^
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Count Matthew

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2014, 12:50:53 PM »

Love it.
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Stem Sunders

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #24 on: November 25, 2014, 04:23:06 PM »

Part 4 up!

2.5 in progress.

This one has a lot of dialog hope its not too boring.

If ya get 5 minutes...
Can someone maybe repeat to me whats going on (In a summing up kinda way) :D
That way I know the story makes sense the way I want it too :)
Tis harder to get everything being explained on screen than I initially anticipated.

Nonetheless Enjoy.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2014, 04:28:50 PM by Stem Sunders »
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Anza

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #25 on: November 26, 2014, 04:28:20 AM »

So the girl friend from CritterBait is in jail at Lawyers, she manages to open the door with a crowbar and tries to escape. Guards spot her and kill her on sight (lol). She respawns in room (why ?) and wishes the doctor were there. We can suppose CritterBait is this doctor she's talking about.

Meanwhile, CritterBait is back to Family HQ, he's thinking about Anca, revealing the name of the girl. He goes to the Don and reports back from his task. The Don then informs him about Anca who appears to be an android. He is sent to retrieve her with a Family Squad (which will only bring him to Lawyers Gate ?).
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Stem Sunders

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #26 on: November 26, 2014, 07:18:52 AM »

So the girl friend from CritterBait is in jail at Lawyers, she manages to open the door with a crowbar and tries to escape. Guards spot her and kill her on sight (lol). She respawns in room (why ?) and wishes the doctor were there. We can suppose CritterBait is this doctor she's talking about.

Meanwhile, CritterBait is back to Family HQ, he's thinking about Anca, revealing the name of the girl. He goes to the Don and reports back from his task. The Don then informs him about Anca who appears to be an android. He is sent to retrieve her with a Family Squad (which will only bring him to Lawyers Gate ?).

You're getting it.
The only thing I can say, Anca was placed back in jail after being shot, (You can't kill an android, only deactivate them or destroy them completely. She was shot for two reasons (1 because I wanted to show her black oily blood and 2, because the story needed her to be. You'll see eventually :)
Also I needed it shown that people at Lawyer base saw her blood too, otherwise the spy that was mentioned wouldn't have known right? or if he did I thought it would have made less sense)
Due to the shifting scenes You're meant to think CritterBait is "the doctor" when actiually its just foreshadowing another character.
The reason the family squad can only escort him to the gate will be explained in part 5...

Its much more practical, In reality I just can't think how I or, who else could play the entire squad. I will eventually figure out how to have more than one or two people on screen at a time. :D


I just realised Anca is only 1 letter away from your name :D
« Last Edit: November 26, 2014, 07:46:50 AM by Stem Sunders »
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Anza

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #27 on: November 26, 2014, 07:38:09 AM »

I didn't even notice that the blood was black  :-[
But yes I was thinking Anca was a good name, although a Z would have been better ;D
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Stem Sunders

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #28 on: November 26, 2014, 07:54:14 AM »

I didn't even notice that the blood was black  :-[
But yes I was thinking Anca was a good name, although a Z would have been better ;D

Thats fine all good, best thing is you can go back and look again.
I am trying my best to get as much explanatory stuff on screen as possible but some of it may require the reader to fill in the gaps with his/her imagination and I encourage such :)

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Myakot

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #29 on: November 26, 2014, 09:19:08 AM »

may require the reader to fill in the gaps with his/her imagination and I encourage such :)
That's the main advantage of the book\manga\manhwa\comix over everything else.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together...
Okay, 3, 2, 1, let's jam!

Anza

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #30 on: December 17, 2014, 11:52:28 AM »

Stop playing and get the comic ready Stem !  ;D
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Stem Sunders

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #31 on: December 17, 2014, 11:56:39 AM »

Soon...

Always wanted to do that :D
But no really it is coming.
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Myakot

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #32 on: December 17, 2014, 11:57:42 AM »

Soon...

Always wanted to do that :D
Take your time, by all means. Especially if you like it.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together...
Okay, 3, 2, 1, let's jam!

LagMaster

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #33 on: March 05, 2015, 04:29:37 AM »

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Anza

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Re: The Trials Of CritterBait!
« Reply #34 on: March 06, 2015, 10:26:10 AM »

I thought there was a new one  :'(
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